This year started differently for me. I usually find myself starting the new year by setting some personal goals. I’m not a big resolution person, but I am a huge fan of getting my mindset in the proper order for the year. For me, this is critical to remaining successful. For whatever reason, coming into 2024, I struggled to set goals and see what my future might be.

I had a few people tell me that it was burnout. A few years ago, I probably would have agreed with them; I did get to that point in life but have worked hard to create healthier habits. Others I talked to suggested that it was time for a career change. I can definitely confirm that it had nothing to do with needing to search for new employment. What I did finally realize, though, was that it was related to my career. 

2024 was starting as a monumental year: I had just received a major promotion at work, and I am turning 40, so what was it creating this mid-career crisis? As I reflect, I have identified two major things that got me to this place:

1. I have been spending more time with leaders outside of my closest circle, learning about what they have been focusing on. Let me tell you, they are achieving some great things; the voice in my head started making me doubt that I was doing the right things for the company. I wasn’t sure that my contributions were enough or that I was supporting their initiatives in the right way.

2. For the second time in 18 years, the amount of work on my plate was at a “normal” level. For so many years, I have been running with a project load that was extreme. I’ve learned to live in the chaos and was seemingly addicted to it. I was measuring my success as my ability to continue supporting these extreme project demands. Not having the chaos gave me the internal feeling of not having success. 

I should have realized by the looks of confusion on the faces of my coworkers when I tried sharing with them how I was feeling. Some of them offered advice, but mostly, they replied with, “I think you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.” Still, I couldn’t accept their words. I didn’t want to accept them. It wasn’t until the end of January that I had my lightbulb moment. 

I was in Minneapolis at the annual shareholder meeting, getting ready for the events of the day. As I often do when I’m getting ready, I was listening to some feel-good music that gets me in the mood to “people.” That morning, I was listening to Andy Grammer’s song, “Damn It Feels Good to Be Me.” The song starts out with him singing:

“Ooo-oh-oo-oh-oo-oh-oo

Ain’t got nothing left to prove

Man, I’m finally free

Damn, it feels good to be me

“You’re only shining 

When you act yourself

Wish I could have learned that

Before I went through hell

Lord, I was trying to flip the cards I was dealt

I was tired of hiding, I had some words with myself. 

“I said stop trying to be the things that I’m not

Trying to be like everyone else

Trying to fit inside of that box

“Oh, you got magic inside of your heart

Had it right from the start

Copycat is dirty

Nothing worse than being thirsty”

The song continues but just read the lyrics one more time. 

I think that day, I repeated the song a couple of times because it was just what I needed to hear. I was trying so hard to compare the work I was doing to everyone else’s work. The reality is that my contributions are just what everyone needed from me and that normal workload allowed me to focus my attention in better places. 

I tried one final attempt at searching for validation with my coworker Cory; the only difference was my mind was open to hearing his feedback. The great thing about Cory is that he has no problem telling me openly exactly what I need to hear. And what he said was what I needed to hear: “Jill, you are quite possibly the only leader at your level right now that still can open Revit and get work done when it needs to be done. It’s pretty amazing if you ask me.”

He wasn’t wrong, and this time I knew it. I took some time to reflect on Cory’s words and decided that my goal for 2024 is to keep my head down, keep working hard, and focus on saying yes to the opportunities that fill my bucket. At the end of the day, hard work pays off, and the opportunities will present themselves when the time is right.