Hi, my name is Jill. I am a wife, a mother, an engineer and a leader. I am passionate about many things in life, but I am truly passionate about my job and those I serve every day. Through this column, I will share my career experiences and the lessons learned along the way.

As I’ve progressed in my career and life overall, I’ve realized that I have so much in common with those around me. I am not an expert in leadership, and I make a lot of less-than-desirable decisions, but I choose to show up every day vowing to be better and do better.

When I look back on my earlier life, my leadership journey started at a young age in youth sports. I was a three-sport athlete growing up: volleyball, basketball and soccer. When it came to soccer, I was the leader on the field. Soccer was and is my sport, and I love it to this day. It was easy for me to show up to practice every day, open to growing, working hard and pushing my teammates. 

Basketball, however, was a different story. Although my basketball career carried into college, it didn’t come easy. I was mostly a bench player, so my experiences were slightly different. I was the cheerleader for my teammates and less of the director. 

I had to learn to make the most of every playing opportunity because I never knew when my next shot (pun intended) was. Some days it was hard to be motivated to go to practice, especially when the season felt as if it was going on forever (and it was). 

Volleyball was the sport that was somewhere in between those two. 

Soul-Searching Question

My professional leadership journey started about eight years ago. I attended the Woman of ASPE seminar at the American Society of Plumbing Engineers convention. We were listening to Candy Barone, CEO of You Empowered Strong, who wanted to help us change our mindset and propel us on a journey to become the best version of ourselves. 

How did she do this? By asking questions and speaking words of truth — you know, those look-inside-your-soul-and-really-see-what-is-happening-in-there questions. Her words hit deep, like really deep. I was fresh into a new marriage, a first-time mom and trying to juggle a career. I remember Candy asking, “Who are you not letting shine their light?” I thought, wow, that is good; I should write it down and think about it later.

Fast-forward a couple of years, and I again found myself at a Women of ASPE event listening to Candy Barone. She was again speaking those powerful words of truth — but this time, I was different. Life had been balancing out and I was finally finding my groove as a working mom/wife. 

Again, Candy asked: “On a daily basis, who are you not letting shine their light?” In other words, who am I holding back?

At work, I had moved beyond working with just one individual to being part of a team, so the question hit me so hard that it felt like a slap on the side of my face. I remembered Candy asking that question at the prior event, but I gave it zero thought since that first time (I know, I know, I said I was going to think about it later).

This time, however, I made it my personal goal to work on this every day. 

I am one of those individuals who writes things down to remember them. There are so many things bouncing around in my mind constantly, so I have learned to love lists and Post-it notes. I always wondered as a kid why my grandpa had so many notes laying around, but I get it now. 

So, on a small piece of paper, I wrote the question, “Who am I not letting shine their light?” and taped it to my monitor. I looked at it a thousand times a day; it gave me something to stare at and daydream about during meetings. Although IT has since taken my monitor, I have stared at that phrase so many times I still see those words when I close my eyes.

Inspire Without Leading

When I first made the vow to myself to find the light in others, I was not in a leadership position; I was a player on the team. That didn’t matter because I love being on teams. My whole life was shaped by playing a part on a team — either as the captain or riding the bench. 

I didn’t need to be in a leadership position to inspire others; I knew that about myself. Thus began my professional leadership journey.

So, what exactly did it look like to see the light in others? There is no definitive answer, and it varies depending on the day, the individual and, honestly, my mood. 

It started small by building relationships with those around me. I needed to learn who they are, what drives them and what their strengths are. 

From there, I started to search for opportunities for those individuals. I often would say things like, “Did you hear about that committee/group they’re looking to start? You would be a great asset and should put your name in.” 

At other times, it was as simple as delegating a task to allow others the chance to not only grow but gain exposure. There were some days when all I could do was muster up the energy to be the cheerleader and allow others to feel as if they were seen. 

My most successful strategy was simply asking for others’ opinions and guidance. By opening myself up and asking others, we could come to conclusions and offer solutions together. 

It was freeing to feel the energy radiating off those around me when they started to shine. It feels like a day in the sun when your body is full of Vitamin D and you are re-energized. As a bonus, it made coming to work even more fun! 

Take some time to really work on it, and I think you’ll find that there are a whole lot of shining stars around you!