We are taught early on that we should have all the answers. From the first days in grade school, having all the answers to the test is — literally — the goal. We are taught to prepare, study, memorize, anticipate and then calmly execute to achieve success. 

From the final round of a spelling bee to the last out of a little league baseball or softball game, we are programmed to believe that preparedness, hard work and execution are the key components to success in life. 

I believed in this approach and certainly grew up with this definition of success. Study hard, anticipate the answers and deliver them when needed on test day. And this approach generally served me well as I worked my way through school. I employed the same playbook when I graduated and it was time to build a career. Show up every day, work hard, anticipate the answers needed to any given situation and execute, execute, execute. 

Early on, in general, this approach worked. However, as my career evolved and the problems became more complex, my approach began to fail me. I couldn’t memorize the answers to a thorny personnel issue. I couldn’t anticipate an angry customer’s phone call and always have a perfect answer at the ready. More than all of this, I realized I just didn’t know where I wanted to go in my career. 

And more importantly, I was haunted by the realization that I didn’t even know how to get there. 

At this point in my career, I realized the old playbook I had been using was missing a very important chapter. Sure, you needed to work hard, prepare, anticipate and execute. Of course. However, I began to realize that to be successful and achieve all I was hoping for in my career (and life), I needed to do the exact opposite of everything I had been taught. 

I couldn’t possibly have all the answers. In fact, if I was really going to succeed, I needed to seek the advice and counsel of those that did. Said differently, I needed to be vulnerable and willing to ask others for help. Yikes. 

This new approach scared the heck out of me. I grew up in a household and time in a society where people, especially men, were expected to have all the answers. And to admit you didn’t was considered a sign of weakness. And now, of all places, I am supposed to admit what I don’t know at the office? And this was supposed to help me and my career? Again, yikes. 

However, like everything in life, I learned this lesson the hard way by growing out of my comfort zone and embracing this new and difficult approach. Over time, I realized that by opening up, being vulnerable and asking others for help, I could succeed more quickly and create more lasting relationships along the way. Vulnerability + mentorship = success; that was certainly “new math” for me!

A Mentoring Relationship Can Be Rewarding for Both of You

Mentorship is a lot like taking a road trip with a friend who has traveled the path before. It’s not just about learning the route; it’s about sharing stories, embracing the bumps and having the courage to ask for directions when you’re lost. 

Great mentors are an absolute key to a successful career. Many, many, many people achieve great things in their careers; almost none of them do it alone. I was fortunate to have many great mentors in my career. First and foremost, my father, Kevin, but also people such as Bill Hilfinger, Joe Poehling, Pat McGowan and many other incredible leaders — too many to list. 

When I look back on my career, it is clear to me that there is no way I would be where I am today without so many people who took the time to share their knowledge and experiences with me along the way. 

And here is another thing I have learned: mentors, especially the very best of them, love to be asked for help! Again, I always assumed asking for help was a sign of weakness, that most “successful” people would see it that way. I learned that the most successful people had already benefited from the power of having a great mentor. And they were almost always willing to lean in and pay it forward when asked. 

Said differently, people generally want to “invest” in success. When a senior leader is asked to help (invest in) a younger coworker, they generally want to lean in and help. And over time, they will take pride in watching the achievements of their mentees as their careers grow and evolve. 

Mentorship is a two-way street like so many things in life and business. Of course, it all starts with being willing to share what you know and, much more importantly, what you don’t to truly get the value out of the relationship with your mentor. You must be open about what you don’t know and what scares you. 

It may sound easy, but it is a frightening proposition. And it’s also the secret sauce to personal growth. It pushes you out of your comfort zone, forcing you to tackle challenges head-on. To make it all work, it is just as critical that your mentor is willing to get real, too. 

Mentors need to be willing to share their own tales of missteps and misunderstandings. And when they do, something special happens; it makes them human, approachable and relatable. It builds a bridge of trust. You realize they are not superheroes or wizards — they have just been around the block a few more times. Their openness shows that it’s OK to stumble because that’s part of the journey.

When both mentor and mentee dare to be vulnerable, it changes the game. It turns every setback into a lesson and every failure into a stepping-stone. Imagine both of you tackling a problem, brainstorming and coming up with solutions together. It’s about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, and there’s something really empowering about that.

While this mentor/mentee dynamic is super important to the two people involved in the relationship, it can have a multiplier effect on your workplace and culture. When leaders show their human side, guess what happens? Everyone else feels safer speaking up, sharing ideas and taking risks. It creates a domino effect where openness leads to innovation, collaboration and a real and durable team spirit. 

Making What I Learned Accessible to Others

We have a leadership program called TGGU (as in, The Granite Group University), where a handful of very talented young team members are chosen to go through a set of development classes. Part of the program includes being paired up with a mentor from our senior leadership team. 

I have been lucky enough to be paired with some great team members. I started working with James when he was an inside salesperson with us. And then, I got to work closely with Rachel when she was an up and comer on our central distribution team. Over the course of the year, our meetings that started formally evolved into long and personal conversations about everything. Work, for sure, but also family, goals, fears, hopes and life in general. 

I like to think James and Rachel got something out of those discussions. However, I am certain I got so much more from them as I listened to them share their goals and challenges. And now, I get to watch as James is doing a phenomenal job running his own branch and Rachel has been promoted to oversee a whole team of inventory specialists at our distribution center. 

When the conversations are open and honest, and both sides lean into working together, great things can happen. And I can assure you I take a huge amount of pride knowing I played just a small role as I watch their careers soar!

So, mentorship isn’t just about learning the ropes; it’s about being real with each other. It’s about embracing your vulnerabilities and turning them into strengths. When mentors and mentees open up, they not only supercharge their own growth but also influence the culture around them. 

It can be scary and certainly pushes you out of your comfort zone. But that is where the best and most enduring growth happens. If you don’t believe me — ask your mentor. 

BILL CONDRON is the CEO of The Granite Group and the third generation of his family to lead the business. The Granite Group is a distributor of plumbing, heating, cooling, piping, water systems and energy products with more than 65 locations throughout New England. Prior to joining The Granite Group, Condron worked at UBS in New York City in equity research sales. He sits on the board of G2 Capital Advisors and is chair of the board of the Nativity School of Worcester.